Charmed Life?

About a week ago, a coworker (not on my team) smiled at me and said "T, you have a charmed life." For some reason, the way she said it bothered me and this has been on my mind quite a bit. So, I hope I can articulate my thoughts on this here. :)

I am happy and do feel fortunate with how some parts of my life have turned out. I really try not to complain, and always remember that there are people who certainly have things worse than me (or do they?) and get along just fine. Basically, I try not be a baby about how my life has turned out so far. I'm living with the decisions I've made--where I went to school, the risks I've taken and didn't take, the people I chose to associate and call my friends and those I did not, the jobs I've had and the ones that I would have taken had I gotten the opportunity. Add to this how I've spent my money (wisely or not) and the men that I have dated (wisely or not). But then again it bothers me that (? because I don't complain all the time?) people seem to think my life is perfect, that I don't have any worries, any regrets, or wish that I'd handled certain things differently. Don't we all?

Maybe that's it--I assume everyone has regrets, wishes unfulfilled, troubles big and/or small--just because they don't talk about them all the time doesn't mean that they aren't there. Just because I'm not complaining all the time doesn't mean I don't have complaints. We all have something. I don't appreciate my worries and concerns being brushed off as nothing, and in addition to that I don't appreciate being made to feel guilty about being happy in certain areas of my life when someone else is not. I'm not going to go around bragging, but I can't share that I took a nice vacation to Charleston? I have to pretend to not be happy about it to make others feel better?

There have been times in my life that I've gotten the distinct feeling that people would have been happy had I failed at risks I'd taken--going to law school being the biggest. It wasn't enough that I was going through the absolutely most difficult time and most insecure time of my life, but I wasn't entilted to feel successful in the end? I guess it's times like those that you realize who your friends really are, or are not.

Now, of course I don't think my coworker meant to bring up all of these emotions when she made her comment to me last week, but it did. I think for me it just indicates that she thinks she's familiar with me and my life and is not. I try not to presume to know how others feel about their lives and wish people would stop doing that with me. Because you don't know.