The House is Full Again Tomorrow

Edwin is back tomorrow, and Saskia as well. My week of single parenthood is almost over. The couple hours I was out Friday night ended up being my only break during the last week. Oh well. There's always people who offer to help me or suggest that we get together while Edwin is gone, but it rarely seems to work out.

As usual I didn't get as much accomplished as I'd hoped last week. Sunday threw me off ... Anna took two shorter naps that day, but neither of them were in her crib (one in her stroller, one in the car) so I couldn't do housework while she was sleeping. I think I just need to stop starting new projects until I finish the ones currently in progress.

My days at work continue to zip by, I'm feeling overwhelmed again by all the responsibilities I'm taking on. But I also think, once I get this work down, my days will be more fulfilling and I won't get bored at work like I have in the past. From what I've learned about Tennessee, I'm fortunate to be on Maryland!!

Outside work I've been on a shoe quest, trying to find new shoes for spring/summer. I've had little luck ... the shoes I like never seem to be available in my size. I'd love to find some wilder shoes--I think I could be comfortable wearing wedges--but I just can't find the right pair. I'm not giving up, though! I'm sure Edwin will want to have Anna to himself soon to try to catch up time that he's missed with her, that'll be my opportunity!!

All Tired Out

It has been a long day. I'm sore from jogging around Lake Harriet yesterday, and tired from needing to get up with Little Boo at 5 this morning. So am I in bed? No, I am here instead.

Today while out and about with Anna I had to yell at her using her full name. She had walked out of a store we were in and was about to go into the parking lot. Since the weather was so gorgeous, the store had its door propped open, otherwise she wouldn't have gotten that far. Basically, I'm to the point of not being able to take her many places now. She'll take off on me, which is just too scary to be worth most of the errands I run.

I took Friday off work and the day ended up fairly productive. I got a decent start to painting the trim in our bedroom, and spackled and repainted parts of Anna's bedroom wall which had holes from nails, etc. I'm just bummed because Once Upon a Child didn't take most of the clothing I had dropped off. I don't know if they're just not accepting spring/summer items yet--that is my guess, though it would have been nice for someone to tell me so. I may just bring these things to our local consignment store instead, where I've had some luck.

Lucy came to watch Anna last night so I could get together with my friend Melissa. Years ago now, she and her ex-husband and Edwin and I would go out to dinner or plan outings for the kids together. A lot has changed since then, but Melissa and I have stayed friends. We now have in common the fact that we're both stepmothers, and our husbands are eerily similar in the ways that they parent their daughters.

I did re-watch the Godfather II, starting last night. I don't know how many times I've seen it. I love, love Al Pacino as Michael Corleone. If I were Kay I would have fallen head over heels for him, too, despite his being a mobster.

Edwin has been out of town for a few days visiting friends and family in Holland. I haven't mentioned it to many people, I basically try not to advertise the fact when I am home alone, plus it was a surprise for his parents for him to go and I figured I didn't want to be the one to ruin the surprise if the wrong person happened upon the information here. The chance was pretty remote, but it was such a big deal to keep it secret I didn't want to be the one to mess things up.

I read something again today in the Strib that I thought was really cool, and was the subject of a previous front page article several weeks ago. Turns out, this time of the year is when songbirds migrate. A big problem with their migration is that in cities, the glow from skyscrapers can disorient the birds, eventually causing them to die (exhaustion from circling, or flying into the buildings). Well, skyscrapers in several northern cities are cooperating with environmentalists and not lighting their buildings as they usually do after dark, in order to help the songbird migration. It's estimated this will save millions of songbirds from death this year. Isn't that wonderful that an agreement like this could be reached?

Anyway, off the bed!!

Tidbits

I cannot believe Sanjaya didn't get voted off American Idol last night. He is so bad. It's not even close. Who are these people voting for him? Don't they realize how cruel it is? Does he realize how cruel it is?

I got carried away and bought a couple DVDs at Target over the weekend. Sense and Sensibility, The Godfather II, Titanic. Each was under $10, I couldn't resist. Another DVD on its way is Death of a Dream, a documentary about immigrants who settled in the Upper Midwest as part of the Homestead Act. TPT 2 was having their pledge drive, and I renewed my membership when this DVD was a gift. When I'll have time to watch these DVDs, I don't know yet.

The days continue to fly by because I've been so busy at work. Work hasn't been this way for me in a very long time. Today I was all excited about the Governor (of Maryland) signing some bills and was disappointed to learn he only signed five. Five? Is that all? I couldn't believe it. And then I realized what a nerd I was to be disappointed by that. LOL!

I'm taking the day off work tomorrow. One of the errands I hope to run is to bring some of Anna's old things to Once Upon a Child. My heart aches to do this, though I know it's the practical thing to do. I've kept a few of her outfits that have had special meaning to me, but it's still hard. As I often say, "What happened to my teeny tiny baby? Where did she go?"

Little Boo looking like an Angel

She's sleeping, of course!

Old Friends

Last week I got together with my friend Dana for dinner. I was so excited, we hadn't seen each other for months and had a lot of catching up to do. This last year I've been busy with work and Anna, she's been busy with work and her divorce. I'm thrilled for her, she's now dating a guy who makes her happy and treats her well. What more could I want for my friend?

Dana is one of a couple friends of mine who have divorced during the time that I've known them. It wasn't a surprise to anyone when her marriage ended, I'm sure all of her friends were happy for her when she finally decided she'd had enough. I know I was. Isn't that sad? She'd been committed to her marriage and tried to do all she could for that relationship, and spent many years hoping things would turn around but they never really did. A person can only give in and sacrifice so much before they realize the relationship they are trying to "save" isn't worthwhile saving in the first place.

I went to the movie "The Queen" on Sunday, I couldn't believe it was still playing at the Edina theater but it was. Lucky me. Helen Mirren was excellent, as expected. I can't help but be caught up with royalty, and though I found it very sad when Princess Diana died I think it's silly when people rank the day of her death up there with presidential assassinations and wars when considering important dates in history. Oh please. It was an unfortunate car accident which happened to kill a woman who tried to use her celebrity to do good, which is a loss definitely but in my mind not equal to JFK being assassinated, for example. Now that several years have passed people seem to have a better perspective. I'm just disappointed that in addition to all of the more obvious bunglings of his presidency, GWB has brought Tony Blair down with him as well. Sigh!

I've felt a little less overwhelmed lately, I'm sure a lot of it has to do with Anna (and me) sleeping through the night again. I can get by a day or two with less rest than usual, but longer than that just wears me down. Anna had her cough for close to two weeks, so that was a long haul. She now seems to be teething but I have no hesitation giving her baby tylenol or ibuprofin as needed so we should be able to keep her pain under control.

In general it's been all the little tasks I can't always get to which frustrate me. But then again, when I do accomplish one of these tasks it's funny how invigorated I feel to tackle more. For example, last weekend I finally took the lower drawer from Anna's dresser back to Baby Depot. It has never worked right, which drove me crazy because that dresser cost a lot of money compared to others we considered. I wasn't sure what Baby Depot would be able to do about it, we no longer had our receipts and I wasn't sure if they would even carry the dresser any more. Well, they did have the same dresser on the sales floor and once I explained our situation the guy who helped me had the idea of checking their damaged merchandise, found the exact same drawer in good working condition, and just gave it to me, no questions asked. I was giddy for the rest of the night, I couldn't believe my luck. I think I'm still a little giddy from how it all worked out.

Thank goodness for these little moments of triumph which get me through!

I've got a Shoe-Crazy Girl!

Yesterday when I picked Anna up from daycare I found her wearing different shoes than what I'd dressed her in that morning. Turns out, before she and Edwin left the house she found other shoes she liked better and insisted he change them for her. LOL! It doesn't matter whether the shoes are 2-3 sizes too big for her, she'll wear them anyway. Edwin now calls Anna "Carrie Bradshaw" from Sex and the City.

The days keep flying by, and the weather has been beautiful--sunny and warm, we're being teased with spring. The snow is melting fast and there are brown patches of grass showing through and puddles everywhere. Once we got home from work yesterday we walked down the block to the playground just to get some fresh air. I had a window open for a few hours, I need to open a couple more to air out the house before the cold returns.

Also yesterday I went to a CLE where the featured speaker was an exonerated death row inmate from Arizona named Ray Krone. His story is just horrible--a woman at a bar he frequented was murdered, and somehow the police got it in their mind that he and the victim had been dating and focused on him as the sole suspect. Exculpatory evidence was completely ignored and not disclosed to his attorney--there was blood and saliva on the victim which didn't match her or RK's DNA, and he fully cooperated with the investigation and did everything he thought would help, knowing in his mind he was innocent. All he did to help backfired on him. The prosecutor completely ignored all the signs that he had the wrong man, and RK spent years on death row before attorneys from the Innocence Project were able to step in and help him.

I had listened to a past show from This American Life which had a death row exoneree who, once he was convicted of a murder he didn't commit, did all he could to be sure he'd be sentenced for death, in hopes that he could eventually get help from the Innocence Project or another, similar group. So he lied and made himself out to be a monster, got sentenced to death for the crime, after several years got help, and was exonerated. He gambled with his life and won.

Ray Krone was able to joke a little bit during his speech, but I just couldn't bring myself to laugh. People in the audience laughed but that made me feel uneasy. This just isn't funny. How can anyone with a conscience just shrug their shoulders over this kind of thing? Eventually the man who committed the crime that put RK away was found, using DNA evidence from the victim's body, but even then the prosecutor still attempted to pin it somehow on RK, offering the true perpetrator an especially good plea bargain if he'd claim RK committed the crime with him. WTF? Even when he was proven wrong he couldn't let it go. The prosecutor's name is Noel Levy, in Maricopa County, Arizona, and he's still there despite all that he's done.

It amazes me how people can still think there's no problem with the system, how people can disbelieve that stories like this can happen. And then, when it is proven that mistakes were made, evidence was covered up, instead of admitting the truth and making amends, those at fault do everything they can to cover it up and continue on with their immoral ways. What a crazy world, what a shame on us all.

I'm so Glad it's Friday

It has been a long week!

I received my Land's End order a couple days ago--the snow boots and the swimsuit both fit perfectly. Yes! It felt weird to order boots and a swimsuit at the same time, but I haven't had decent boots for years, and I wanted a new swimsuit for our upcoming vacation. I'm not usually the one to shovel snow, and Edwin takes Sas and Anna sledding so I've been able to easily go without good boots all this time. At least now I can frolic in the snow a little bit with Anna, and not ruin my other shoes by wearing them in the snow and slush.

I've moved to my new location at work and getting used to my new neighbors and job responsibilities. It's all going to take time, but I'm sure it'll be fine eventually. Everyone's been really nice so far, and it's far quieter than what I'm used to. I've asked my friends to ask me again in six months how it's all going, by then the newness will all have worn off.

I finished The Magician's Wife and am now floating between books. I thought I would start Mists of Avalon but it is SO long. I'm not sure if I'm up for a long book again so soon after Anna Karenina. We'll see. I actually got it last summer from Edwin's friends Hans and Margot, who both adore the book. Dilemmas, dilemmas!

On Sunday Edwin, Anna and I went to breakfast at the Good Day Cafe in Golden Valley (at 394 near 100) and loved it. Loved the food (eggs Benedict for Edwin, blintzes for me), loved the atmosphere, and the service was impeccable. Just a wonderful experience--it even felt trendy to be there and lighthearted. It's even given me ideas on how we could paint our kitchen (gray ceiling, tan walls, with occasional burnt orange?). So, I highly highly recommend this place, which also does lunch but not dinner.

Last night I worked on new letters for Anna's room. Right now, she has her name on the wall with letters I found from a vendor on eBay. They've been just fine, I wouldn't have thought to replace them until Anna broke one months ago. I've only been able to fix it using tape, which I think is tacky. It occured to me recently to just replace them all, and this time instead of searching on eBay I just went to JoAnn Fabrics and bought some larger, wooden letters to paint white. Then it occured to me that I could decopage something on the letters, they didn't need to be plain white--I could use some of the leftover wallpaper border we have from her room, and cut out some of the flowers from it to use. So I did this all last night and am really excited for how it looks so far. I'm so proud! I can't remember the last time I felt this creative! Now all I need to do is figure out how I will put them on the wall, and where. I don't want Anna to be able to reach them to just break one again. I love how her room has come together! Next is a little wooden keepsake box that I'll paint and decorate the same way.

Sad news--my friend from work, Bob, just learned that his cancer has returned. I don't know all the details, but he will be undergoing a second series of chemotherapy starting soon. My heart is heavy and he remains in my thoughts and prayers.

I really need this weekend to be a restful one ...

Random, Odd Phone Calls

A long time ago, maybe a year ago or more, we received some odd phone calls here. They were mostly messages left on the answering machine, obviously someone had dialed the wrong number, didn't listen to our greeting, and left a message anyway. They turned out to be an older man calling for his son, practically begging for the son to call him back. Finally I called the phone number left in the message--it was a phone number in California. I explained that no one by that name lived at our phone number, and couldn't have lived at this number for several years. I think I even tried to look up the person trying to be reached in the phone book, with no luck. The older man didn't even realize he was calling Minnesota. Who knows what happened, how it got stuck in his head that his son was at our phone number, but the calls stopped.

Until today. There's a message on the machine, a father calling his son, saying he hadn't heard from him for a long time, blah blah blah. Can you believe it? Here I go again. I know it's the same person. I can't help but be irritated--doesn't anyone listen to the greeting? Uh, do we share the same last name? If no one calls you back, are you going to figure out that you had a wrong number and stop calling? Or, (gut instinct) are you just going to keep calling? Sigh. Why can't you call information? 411?? Hire a private investigator??

But now I'm wondering, could this guy have Alzheimer's or something? Am I just not being compassionate about this? Or, is he just so lonely he doesn't care that he's (pathetically) calling the same wrong number over and over? Could the son be dead? Long dead? And the father mentally ill? Is there a reason they haven't spoken? Who is at fault? On and on.

So I guess we'll see what happens next. For now, I've decided not to call him back. I did before and tried to explain we had no clue who the son was but obviously that didn't stick. I would probably end up getting frustrated and snotty on the phone and this just isn't worth it. It seems like he's calling during the day, and we're not here then anyway.

Whoa! Enough Snow for Ya?

Well, Edwin, Anna and I have all made it home safely tonight. I left work early, Edwin stayed later to try to avoid any problems. Can you believe all this snow? And it's not over yet according to all the weather forecasts I've heard.

In a way, it's nice to have the excuse to stay home from work. Otherwise, I'm hesitant to use to much vacation time without knowing when Marion will want to take more time off, or what other days I'll want to take off later in the year. I hope to make up half the day, the question only remains--do we try to bring Anna to Marion's house or not??

Despite all the hassles, the snow is beautiful. I should take some pictures. I did take pictures on New Year's Day with Anna in the snow, but this time it's even more spectacular. We'll see.

I thought I'd write more with this post, it seems as though I think of topics during the day while I'm at work and make a mental note to discuss them later, but right now I'm at a loss for words and just watching the clock, thinking instead about how I want to crawl into bed and read.

Recently we've had contractors at our house to give estimates for air conditioning. We had begun our research on this about a year ago, to get a sense of what our options were and what price range to expect. We're close to making a decision, and expect we'd schedule this work for March or April. We may also replace our boiler, which most contractors have guessed to be original to the house. (!!!) So, everyone cross your fingers that our boiler does not contain asbestos!! AC has always been a hard call--we have ceiling fans in the bedrooms, and window units that we've used, but should we pay the $$ to have it permanently installed? Well, we're ready and it helps immensely to think of the value it adds to the house. The garage and basement and deck and whatever else I'm not thinking of at the moment will have to wait for other years.

Off to my cozy bed and intriguing book!