Atonement

I finished reading the book Atonement Friday night and was able to go to the movie Saturday afternoon. I'd actually started the book last spring on our trip to South Carolina but didn't finish it. I came to a certain scene in the book (the letter scene) and had such a sense of foreboding that I just couldn't bring myself to go further. When I'd heard in the fall that the movie was going to be released soon and how excited all the critics were to see it, I reconsidered, restarted the book and resolved to finish, regardless of what would happen with the characters.

Maybe it is silly, but I had such hopes that despite everything that happened all could be made right in the end. I really, truly wanted that to be the case, for there to be redemption. Not necessarily forgiveness, but redemption and truth and understanding.

The main character, Briony Tallis, as a child saw adult sexual behavior which she totally misinterpreted and led to the arrest and imprisonment of an innocent man for rape--Robbie Turner. Upon coming of age and not only realizing her mistake but realizing the horrible consequences for Robbie and others involved, she now has to live with herself and the knowledge of what she has done. Any attempts she could have made to make everything right were interrupted by the war, or were they? Would she have had the strength to go forward years later and tell the world she was wrong? How would she do it? What difference would it make, since the worst damage to the life and reputation of the innocent man was already done and couldn't be undone? What took so long?

Of course movie reviews mention the war scenes, as Robbie is able to get out of prison early by agreeing to join the army, and finds himself in France and making his way with all the others to avoid capture by escaping from Dunkirk. His love, Briony's sister Cecilia, works as a nurse in London and ignores letters from Briony begging for a meeting with her. We learn in the end that before Robbie and Cecilia have time to reunite and begin a life together, both are killed in the war. It's all horribly, horribly sad.

The book is incredibly well written and must be read slowly. I was able to pick up on certain clues ... why Robbie's war experience ended so abruptly yet he shows up in London seeminly unscathed weeks later. A mention of the area where Cecilia lived and how it was bombed so badly shortly thereafter. Letters between the two later showing up in archives ... how did they get there? How did Briony seem to know such detail of Robbie's life in the army? On and on, and all covered by a sentence here, a reference there. It's all there.

So I finished the book and was very sad for the ending and hoped that I'd somehow read it wrong, that Robbie and Cecilia had somehow survived the war or at least lived long enough to enjoy time together. The movie confirmed my understanding, so very very sad. It's unusual for me to get so caught up in characters but I couldn't help myself.

I have yet to hear any criticism of the movie, only the highest praise. I agree completely. The movie theater was packed, everyone was somber at the end.

The Holidaze



This month has gone by in a whirl, as expected. I've felt just a little bit behind on everything, not quite as efficient as I'd hoped. Better luck next year, I guess.

We hosted a holiday gathering at our house in early December for Edwin's team from work, a first. I had also invited the rest of my team (two people!) but they weren't able to come so it was all Findlaw people. Many I've met before at various work events, it was a good sized group (14?) with kids, but it turned out fine. Our friend Cindy helped prepare and serve everything, so Edwin had the time to visit with people and not just run around taking care of everyone. Maybe this will be the start of a new tradition? A lovely fire in the fireplace, lots of food and wine, there's not much more that needs to be done than that.


The following week I joined members of my family for a performance of "A Christmas Carol" at the Wigington Pavillion in St. Paul. My sister-in-law Sharon organized our group, there were seven of us in total at our table. Thank goodness I'd been to the Pavillion a couple weeks before, otherwise I'd never have found it! It has been years since I've seen the play, of course you remember the main parts but enough time had passed that I'd forgotten a lot of the details. It was a very festive evening, and of course a treat for me to get out of the house as Edwin stayed home with Anna.


On the night of the solstice (the 21st) all four of us went to a solstice party at my friend Jill and John's condo in Minneapolis. I was pretty excited to get the invitation, I'd always had a good time at her parties in the past and I looked forward to seeing her again. The last time I'd gone to her solstice party was when Anna was a newborn, I took her along and friends at the party enjoyed holding her. This time Anna spent a lot of her time running around and trying to play with a boy many years older than she. More good food and wine.


The next night my brother Charlie and his wife Sharon hosted all of my family (in town) at his house. We drove up to Blaine for a traditional turkey dinner and exchanged some gifts. Anna had another great time, playing with Grandma, Claire, her Auntie Cheryl and others. She still talks about the people who were there--Uncle Charlie, Uncle Paul, Uncle Tony. Even now she points at them and says their names when looking at the new family picture. I would check on her from time to time but mostly she shooed me away so she could play without my interruptions. It was nice to sit back and not worry too much where she was or what she was doing. It was hard to leave the party that night for the long drive home.


Christmas night we were invited to a dinner party at Laura's house, a friend of Edwin's. By this time it was the four of us again and it was another nice time. Once again good food and good wine, we'd really eaten well at all of the events and once again Anna ran around with the older girls and enjoyed herself.

All in all those days were fun, yet still relaxing as we had no other set plans besides the dinner parties and slept in every day. Everyone seems to have liked the gifts I got for them. I filled all of our Christmas stockings, including my own. I hope to find someone to personalize them for me after the holidays, I don't feel confident to take care of them myself.

A Few Pictures of the Little Boo

Hanging out in the Christmas tree box.


















Working at my desk before the West holiday party.


















A few of Anna's babies, ready for a nap.


















Anna and her big girl bed. She uses the little stool her Uncle Charlie made for her to get into bed.

So I Hugged a Total Stranger Today

I offered up my old, light-less Christmas tree on Craigslist yesterday. I think it's still a nice enough tree, not too big, very easy to put together, just without lights. And, since I hate putting lights on a tree with every fiber of my being, I've decided that I'll buy a new tree the next time I'm ready to put up a full size tree again.

It didn't take long for someone to show interest, I didn't ask any money for it. The first person to email, M, promised she could stop by West today and pick it up. And she did. M was thrilled and kept thanking me over and over. She said she's listed lots of things on Craigslist for free and wondered if someday someone would return the favor and offer up something for free that she wanted. And I did.

It all worked out perfectly. M loved the tree, I made some room in the basement, and before she drove off I gave her a hug and wished her a Merry Christmas.

Tis the season!

I Keep Meaning To But I Haven't Yet ...

Baked the double batch of sugar cookies

Posted Anna's latest pictures on this blog

Posted pictures of my newly-painted bathroom on this blog

Finished reading Mists of Avalon or Atonement

Called the friends who live in Omaha

Finished the long letter to the cousin that lives in Texas (hi DeAnn!)

Started writing out my Christmas cards

Applied for a couple new jobs recently posted at work (Monday?)

Lost that extra weight I gained after I stopped breastfeeding (!!!)

Finished Anna's birth to one-year scrapbook

Started my sisters' Christmas gifts

The list goes on and on. Why? I don't usually procrastinate like this.

Season in Full Swing

Thanks to the calendar officially moving to December and the brand new, beautiful snow I now feel in a Christmas-y mood. The stockings are hung, the tree is up and mostly decorated, most of my purchased gifts are wrapped and I'm on the verge of breaking out the Christmas music. I almost bought some new music yesterday but couldn't decide between the Barenaked Ladies and Bette Midler when I found that Josh Grobin had sold out at Target. I did buy Christmas Vacation a few days earlier and will likely watch that sometime this week when I'm needing a break and a good laugh.

Yesterday was also the Sinterklaas party, and Sinterklaas happened to visit sometime Saturday night/Sunday morning and brought all of us a gift. Dank u Sinterklaas!

We all got plenty of rest over the weekend and, knock on wood, Anna has been sleeping completely through the night lately. Most nights since she's moved to her bed she awakes one time, gets out of bed and thinks it's time to get up. Sometimes she'd be sleepy enough to just go back to sleep, sometimes not. I'm hopeful this phase is over. I like my sleep!

Anna has been pretty funny lately. For example, if I suggest we change her diaper she'll say to me "no thank you Momma, I'm fine". LOL! On our way home from the Sinterklaas party, Edwin was getting more chocolate and Anna scolded him "no Papa, that's enough!" Edwin didn't think that was too funny but Saskia and I laughed. Lately she's been crawling into boxes, the clothes hamper, etc., and wanting Saskia to push her around. Sas has been a good sport, pushing when she can. Saskia and I have also been coerced into running around the middle part of the house pushing one of the doll baby strollers, chasing Anna who is also pushing a doll baby stroller. Oh well, I figure any thing to allow her to run off some of that energy, wear herself out. In the car she's able to see a lot so usually on the drive home from daycare Anna will point out buses, airplanes in the sky, the lake if we drive by it, now she points out holiday lights and today noticed teddy bears in a store window.

Time just keeps rolling along. The days seem to blur, then the weekend comes with a flurry of activity and then the days blur again. I may have to take a day off soon to care for Anna while Marion is busy, otherwise I'm just looking forward to the four-day weekend we have with Christmas. Maybe this break I'll get back to my scrapbooks?

I just mixed up a double batch of roll-out sugar cookies and they're chilling in the refrigerator. I'm not sure yet which night this week I will try to tackle the baking, tonight I cleaned out the oven and in a minute I'll do some work. I'm just not as motivated as I'd hoped I'd be tonight, but I did get to snuggle with my sweet girl so I'm not feeling too bad about it!